Along the way…

Like anyone else,  I have my good days and my bad days. This story is a snapshot of what goes on in the mind of a hormonally crazed menopausal woman on a bad day.

I was sitting around contemplating life when I started to feel that I needed a new direction. I had attained most of my major goals in life and was wondering what was next. I served my country in the US Navy; completed my college education; married a wonderful man (30 years next month); successfully raised three children, earned my nursing degree, secured a job in the emergency dept., travelled, and so the list goes on.

Suddenly, I am sitting around wondering if I am done. What else was I put here to do? What exactly is my purpose? My children are independent adults; I chose to quit my nursing job; I no longer qualify to serve in the armed forces; my reproductive organs are rendered useless…am I done?

A wave of depression washed over me as I contemplated my lack of usefulness on this planet of ours. Sure I could find lots of things to occupy my time but what exactly am I left here to do? Am I really done with whatever my purpose was here on earth? (Stay with me here…this is the thinking of a woman perspiring in Feb. and having erratic mood swings).

Sure, there are lots of things I can do to fill my time but what was my purpose? Have I completed that? Is this all there is for me?

In the midst of my deep thought and moderate depression I   hear Randy as he continues to swear at his computer. “Damn piece of sh!t….” Apparently he is trying to log onto a website that someone at his workplace directed him to to access information. He copied the web address “exactly” as HE saw it….httpi//etc.  He was now on the phone fussing with someone about how it was the wrong web address and his patience appeared to be wearing thin. I picked up the paper and retyped the address….http://

He insisted that was an “i” not a “: “ He copied it “exactly as it was written.” Whatever! I am in no mood for an argument. Here I am contemplating the meaning of life.  I had no desire to argue the i vs : issue with him. To his surprise, I accessed the site for him. A great burden had been lifted from his shoulders. Now he could move on to the more important tasks at hand.

Well, until he forgot what his login and password were. Apparently he has a different one for EVERY FREAKIN’ ACCOUNT HE USES! He’s never changed a password anyone has issued him. He always creates a new one for each new account he accesses. WHAT?!

Don’t get me wrong. He is a very smart man but he is my “analog man living in a digital world.” (I need to find the song where I first heard those lyrics so I can add it here). He has a list a mile long (in his little black book he still carries around) of logins and passwords with no indication of what belongs to what…they are in his head somewhere. Did I mention he turned 60 this past March? Only now is he beginning to accept the fact that we live in a computerized world.

I explained to him that just as you can rip the mattress tag off of the mattress, so too can you change your password and make them all the same. Even your username can be the same…imagine that! And there is always a “:” after http…at least as far as I know.

Most recently, I helped him update his GPS system online; taught him how to open downloads; and make purchases with PayPal. We are still working on adding attachments. I also had to explain why the email address he was trying to send to was “undeliverable.” This time he wrote it exactly as he heard it over the phone, johnunderscoredoe@x.net    It was then that I realized my purpose! I’m not done…not as long as you put Randy and a computer in the same room:)