Betrayal March 24, 2008
Posted by Donna in Uncategorized.trackback
It pains me to write this post. I had hoped to come back here and fill you in on Woody’s race but I never got to watch it. I arrived in FL for the race but was only there for a few hours when my cell phone rang.
My oldest daughter was sobbing uncontrollably because her world, as she knew it, had just crumbled. I jumped on the next flight home which wasn’t until the next morning. I didn’t sleep at all that night (and not much for days afterwards). I cried for her; still do. She was in pain and as her mother I felt helpless. It felt like morning couldn’t come soon enough.
She was two weeks shy of her first embryo (IVF) transfer after 2 years of trying to conceive. She and her husband were living in their dream home of 18 months and things seemed to be falling into place. She was counting down the days until the IVF. She was told her chances were excellent. I heard the excitement in her voice that very morning.
On the surface he was the kind of guy a mother would pick for her daughter. It would be only hours later that she would stumble across proof that her “adoring” husband of 4 1/2 years had been cheating on her for nine months with his new-found drinking partner. Yes, alcohol seems to be another issue she didn’t bargain for in this thing called marriage.
Through tens of thousands of dollars, countless tests and procedures, hormones and injections, and the roller coaster ride of hormones and hope, he was leading a double life and letting her continue to believe in her dream.
He didn’t want her to leave him. He “loves” her. WHAT?! Am I missing something here? What did he think she would do? Of course he is mortified and remorseful but she has lost all trust; her heart is broken; and her dreams have been shattered. We were all blind-sided by this. He is “sorry”; he “wants her back”; he will “get help.” Sounds like something they all say when they get caught.
How do you pick up the pieces? When does the pain go away? When do the tears run out? I am sick over this. I can only imagine how she feels.
I have lost faith in my ability to “know someone.” I am grieving. I am disappointed. I just want her pain to go away. Am I angry? DAMN RIGHT I AM! %#$@^
OMG Donna…what a shock! I’m speechless. Your daughter is so beautiful. That man must be insane to risk losing someone who loves him so much she would put her body through the nightmare of IVF to have children with him. Where alcohol is involved, usually nothing surprises me. It impairs judgement so badly, I’ve seen the best and nicest people do the most dispicable things under the influence. But damn! This is beyond the pale. OMG…all that work to have a child, to be so close to the end of the cycle and now…she has to suddenly decided if she even WANTS a child with this man anymore? It’s so wrong. My heart goes out to her.
You have a lovely family…and I am happy to be a cyber part of it
Helene is so lucky to have you. She will get through this and move on, it’ll be awhile, but her family will keep her strong. She is so blessed to have you as her mother…and I am so blessed to have you in my life!
Ugh. Not sure what to say except OUCH! I hope everyone involved gets the help they each need…you know, for their/your highest good. But damn. This is some painful stuff. Sorry. xo
Marriage is such a complicated beast. Even when we think we know the other person inside out, there is always something we don’t know. I’m sorry for your daughter’s pain, and grateful that she discovered him for what he is before they had a child. My hope for a different child with a more worthy partner if that’s what she desires. Or healing if she stays.
I’m so sorry, Donna, so very sorry.
[...] my oldest daughter ran into a “brick wall” in this thing called life, I found myself appointed the tiling wallpapering person. They were in [...]
I loved the Retail Therapy post, which led me to this one. This kind of betrayal really does turn your world upside down. Who the heck are you supposed to trust? Hey, some people are excellent liars and professional at living double lives. His issue, not hers. My heart aches for her, all her dreams came crashing down. I wish that people who cheat could really envision the pain they will be causing…it’s never worth the ‘thrill’ of cheating.